Given the choice, I will buy most of my sex toys in 100% silicone. I like the feel of it, and I like that it doesn’t smell funny, and I like that it’s really easy to clean. I like that I can share a silicone toy with a partner, and then sterilize it once we aren’t having sex anymore. (Although, really, we use this as a selling point but who really uses sex toys with multiple partners? Usually you buy a toy with a specific person to use with them, and then if things don’t work out, somebody keeps the toy and somebody doesn’t get it, and the person who keeps it feels weird about using it with somebody else because it’s the toy they bought with their previous partner.)
The first thing I said after my boyfriend and I achieved simultaneous orgasm the other night was, “That’s the kind of thing you read about in erotica and think, ‘That doesn’t happen in real life.'”
(Fortunately he understood that what I meant was, “That was fucking fantastic and I love that I connect with you on this level. I have never experienced that with anybody before. If I were comfortable with the ‘L’ word, I would use it to describe how I feel for you right now.”)
Now I think this is a rare phenomenon – maybe just because I’d never experienced it before. But it just seems like with all the different people in the world, the different sensations that get people off, and the different amounts of time it takes for different people to orgasm, it seems like this “simultaneous orgasm” thing would be so rare it might as well never happen for all it effects us regular mortals.
This myth of simultaneous orgasm has become a staple of certain types of erotica. There’s this trope that, “If we love each other enough / if we’re perfect for each other we’ll connect on an entirely different level so our orgasms will actually happen together,” and people expect and want this to be true in real life. Looking deep into each others’ eyes and tipping into orgasm together.
Honestly, I think it’s that my boyfriend can choose to come whenever he wants, and just allows my orgasm to push him over the edge. (He confirmed this in conversation last night. Also, that orgasms when I’m on top are stronger and better. I win at sex!)